Let’s face it: We all wish we had a car that was really cool.
Not just cool looking, but a car that could, you know, smite mean drivers with lasers or oil slicks; eject dates that we’d had enough of; and be our best friend and confidant, like a new puppy. With laser beams and wheels.
Of course, there really aren’t any cars that do these things in real life, and if your car is your best friend, you have what is a called avoidant personality disorder, similar to people who spend too much time on FaceBook.
Nobody asks common sense questions about the crime-fighting and do-gooding cars we see in movies and on TV.
What’s the environmental impact of a supercar? How come they never have a scratch after smashing through the Great Wall of China or jumping the Grand Canyon? Who does their auto insurance, anyway?
We decided to find out—by tracking down the coolest cars of all time, then getting custom auto insurance quotes for each. Get some custom insurance quotes for yourself by entering your ZIP code into the FREE box above, and then see what we discovered…
1. James Bond’s 1964 Aston Martin DB5
We began with the coolest car, with the coolest driver, with the coolest and most beautiful co-stars in the history of film, TV, and possibly cartoons. James Bond’s amazingly groovy sports car (“groovy” means “cool” in 60’s talk, kids), the 1964 Aston Martin DB5.
Here’s a list of features:
- .30 caliber machine guns
- devices that shoot oil slicks, smoke, and tacks onto the road
- tire slashing apparatus
- a combination pop tart toaster and martini maker (we’re guessing on that last one)
We tried to get quotes at Geico, but they switched us to their classic car affiliate, American Collector’s Insurance. While on hold, they played (we swear) 60’s swingers cocktail party music—just like James Bond movies!
After assuring the rep that we would only be using my sports car for taking seductive Russian spies to dinner and engaging in some light international intrigue, the nice lady informed me that the total cost would be a scant $3,234.95 a year.
Of course, that price also carried a $43,000 deductible—so maybe that had something to do with it.
We also found out that you can’t insure a classic car if you’ve had a DUI in the last ten years—even if you’re James Bond.
And the rep confirmed that yes, martinis do count.
2. The General Lee from The Dukes of Hazzard – 1969 Dodge Charger
We next called about insuring the General Lee from The Dukes of Hazzard 1980’s TV series. “Is the car stock, or does the engine have any special upgrades?” asked the courteous rep who took our call.
“It’s pretty souped up,” we said. “It’s got a 440 cubic inch, 375 horsepower Magnum V-8 with a four-barrel Holly 780 Double-Pumper. And a Saturn V rocket booster, we think.”
“Is it fast?” she asked.
“Oh, it really flies,” we responded, imagining Bo and Luke’s Farrah Fawcett hairdos flying in the wind as they jumped houses, rivers, trucks and the occasional Eiffel Tower (in the episode where the boys went to France).
“What are you going to use it for?” she asked. “Because it can’t be used for racing. Or we can’t insure it.”
“We’ll be using it for short runs, you know, to the still and back,” we mumbled. “But every so often, we’ll be driving it really fast, like if we need to escape or something.”
“But no racing,” she said, and then gave us our number. The cost of our racing-less policy? $619.00 per year, if we drive less than 3,000 miles a year.
“That’s okay,” we said. “Boss Hogg says we can’t leave our county, anyway.”
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3. KITT from Knight Rider – 1982 Pontiac Firebird Trans-Am
While most of our cars were insured as “classics,” this one was going to be registered as a daily street vehicle, because everyone knows that fighting crime while schmoozing the ladies is a 24/7 job.
We also said “yes” when they asked about drunk driving arrests, because let’s face it, KITT without David Hasselhoff is like Sonny without Cher. Take away the star and the other one is pretty annoying.
Hasselhoff blends cheesiness and hunkiness (chunkiness?) like no one else.
We told her we had paid $59,000 for the car at auction, so she asked us if there were any “extras.”
The list of “extras” for the Knight Rider Trans-Am on Wikipedia was longer than Snoop Dogg’s rap sheet, so we just blurted out the first ones we saw. “We’ve installed ‘some’ special features, like an onboard computer, flame throwers, and tear gas launchers,” we said, expecting a quick hang up.
Instead, she emailed us a quote of $956.00 for six months ($1912.00 annually). It was too good (or too horrifying) to be true. David Hasselhoff driving drunkenly around our neighborhood with flamethrowers and tear gas grenades at his disposal!
A few minutes later, our phone rang again. “Sir, I just wanted to let you know that cars with flamethrowers are not something we would insure. You know, in case the flames came in contact with the gas line or something.”
We promised her we would de-activate the flame thrower.
4. 1981 DeLorean DMC-12 from Back To the Future
No list of cool cars could be complete without including the time-traveling DeLorean, the only car whose speedometer went up to 700 million miles per hour (186,000 feet per second for the geeks).
So we were surprised when we were able to insure the car for a measly $183.00 per year, provided we didn’t go more than 3,000 miles a year, which would be easy—considering it only took about 400 yards to hit the 88 miles per hour necessary to blast through the time/space continuum.
“You must understand that we are insuring it as a standard model,” said the insurance guy. “Any modifications you make to the vehicle must include a description, photos, and receipts.”
“So if I upgrade to a new Flux capacitor, we’d better save the receipts, then,” we said.
“Yes, then forward them to us. Now, will you be garaging it?”
“Oh, yes,” we said. “We want to keep this one well out of sight.”
5. Herbie the Love Bug – 1963 VW Bug
“You’ve got to be kidding,” you might say. “How could you put a car named ‘Herbie’ on a list with James Bond, the Dukes, and the Baywatch guy? Herbie’s not cool.”
To which we say, au contraire, mon frère.
Not cool? Besides having a mind of his own, Herbie was the strong silent type, like a four-wheeled, tiny-engined Clint Eastwood.
How about winning the Monte Carlo and NASCAR races? How about being a bullfighter (Herbie Goes Bananas)? How about being a candidate for Vice President of the United States? (That hasn’t happened yet, but there are rumors).
But the ultimate test of a car’s coolness is this: do chicks dig it?
And the answer to that is a resounding – YES! Herbie is to women what, well—what chocolate is to women—only much sexier.
In fact, it is said that Lindsay Lohan’s problems began when Herbie dumped her for a Porsche.
But when we tried to insure him, Herbie got no respect from the polite young woman at the American Collectors Insurance.
“One hundred and fifty-eight dollars and fifty cents for the year,” she said. “And it can’t be used as a backup or a second car.”
The idea that Herbie would be relegated to backup car status was unfathomable to us, but what she said next made our hearts sink.
“And it can’t be used for racing.”
“Not even for a short race?” we asked. “Like, say, the Indy 500?”
“I’m sorry. No.”
“What about drag racing?”
She hung up. Some cars, it seems, are too cool to be insured.
Now that you know how much it would cost to buy car insurance for some of the coolest cars of all time why not see how much money you can save on YOUR car insurance?
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